Two and a Half Men69%

1. 1 Pilot Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him. Sep 22, 2003 23m
2. 2 Big Flappy Bastards Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps … Sep 29, 2003 21m
3. 3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father. Oct 6, 2003 21m
4. 4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for datin… Oct 13, 2003 21m
5. 5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes. Oct 20, 2003 19m
6. 6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid. Oct 27, 2003 21m
7. 7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the su… Nov 3, 2003 21m
8. 8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show. Nov 10, 2003 19m
9. 9 Phase One, Complete Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn. Nov 17, 2003 21m
10. 10 Merry Thanksgiving Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him. Nov 24, 2003 21m
11. 11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image. Dec 15, 2003 20m
12. 12 Camel Filters and Pheromones Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old. Jan 5, 2004 21m
13. 13 Sarah Like Puny Alan Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time. Jan 12, 2004 20m
14. 14 I Can't Afford Hyenas Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget. Feb 2, 2004 21m
15. 15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems. Feb 9, 2004 21m
16. 16 That Was Saliva, Alan Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him. Feb 16, 2004 21m
17. 17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospi… Feb 23, 2004 20m
18. 18 An Old Flame with a New Wick Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man. Mar 1, 2004 21m
19. 19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own. Mar 22, 2004 19m
20. 20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist. Apr 19, 2004 21m
21. 21 No Sniffing, No Wowing Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario. May 3, 2004 21m
22. 22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure. May 10, 2004 21m
23. 23 Just Like Buffalo When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie. May 17, 2004 21m
24. 24 Can You Feel My Finger? Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas. May 24, 2004 21m

1. 1 Back Off, Mary Poppins Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join. Sep 20, 2004 30m
2. 2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end. Sep 27, 2004 30m
3. 3 A Bag Full of Jawea Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time. Oct 4, 2004 30m
4. 4 Go Get Mommy's Bra Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to help her impress a Saudi prin… Oct 11, 2004 21m
5. 5 Bad News from the Clinic? Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who's better at playing hard to get than he is. Oct 18, 2004 21m
6. 6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself. Oct 25, 2004 21m
7. 7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her. Nov 8, 2004 21m
8. 8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan deci… Nov 15, 2004 21m
9. 9 Yes, Monsignor When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out that she broke up with her hus… Nov 22, 2004 22m
10. 10 The Salmon Under My Sweater Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fan. While Alan finds out more … Nov 29, 2004 21m
11. 11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, makin… Dec 13, 2004 21m
12. 12 A Lungful of Alan Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie. Jan 3, 2005 21m
13. 13 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair) After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission… Jan 17, 2005 20m
14. 14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospit… Jan 31, 2005 21m
15. 15 Smell the Umbrella Stand Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas. Feb 7, 2005 21m
16. 16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. W… Feb 14, 2005 21m
17. 17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a… Feb 21, 2005 21m
18. 18 It Was 'Mame', Mom Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife… Mar 7, 2005 21m
19. 19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to a… Mar 21, 2005 21m
20. 20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other. Apr 18, 2005 21m
21. 21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a ""dead guy"". Cha… May 2, 2005 21m
22. 22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a bl… May 9, 2005 21m
23. 23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar af… May 16, 2005 20m
24. 24 Does This Smell Funny to You? Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class. May 23, 2005 20m

1. 1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life. Sep 19, 2005 22m
2. 2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic off… Sep 26, 2005 22m
3. 3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere… Oct 3, 2005 22m
4. 4 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them Oct 10, 2005 22m
5. 5 We Called It Mr. Pinky Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school. Oct 17, 2005 21m
6. 6 Hi, Mr. Horned One Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood. Oct 24, 2005 21m
7. 7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens whe… Nov 7, 2005 22m
8. 8 That Voodoo That I Do Do Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher. Nov 14, 2005 21m
9. 9 Madame and Her Special Friend One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist. Nov 21, 2005 21m
10. 10 Something Salted and Twisted Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life. Nov 28, 2005 22m
11. 11 Santa's Village of the Damned Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection. Dec 19, 2005 22m
12. 12 That Special Tug Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities. Jan 9, 2006 22m
13. 13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex. Jan 23, 2006 22m
14. 14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend. Feb 6, 2006 22m
15. 15 My Tongue Is Meat Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to… Feb 27, 2006 22m
16. 16 Ergo, the Booty Call Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Char… Mar 6, 2006 22m
17. 17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is hav… Mar 13, 2006 21m
18. 18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because … Mar 20, 2006 21m
19. 19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense… Apr 10, 2006 22m
20. 20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy. Apr 24, 2006 21m
21. 21 And the Plot Moistens Jake's teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of t… May 1, 2006 21m
22. 22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie A girl from Jake's school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember the… May 8, 2006 22m
23. 23 Arguments for the Quickie Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for h… May 15, 2006 22m
24. 24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vega… May 22, 2006 21m

1. 1 Working for Caligula Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi. Sep 18, 2006 22m
2. 2 Who Is This Vod Kanockers? Charlie finally tells Alan that he didn't marry Mia because she wanted Alan and Jake to move out of the house, but Alan finds a hole in his logic. Charlie and Alan deal with a noi… Sep 25, 2006 22m
3. 3 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father. Oct 2, 2006 21m
4. 4 A Pot-Smokin' Monkey Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared. Oct 9, 2006 21m
5. 5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage maybe derailed due… Oct 16, 2006 21m
6. 6 Apologies for the Frivolity Charlie is dating a woman whose personality and life are like his mother's. Oct 23, 2006 20m
7. 7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head Berta's daughter, Naomi is pregnant and Berta drags Charlie with her when she confronts the baby's father. Alan reveals a secret fetish. Nov 6, 2006 21m
8. 8 Release the Dogs Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist, who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Charlie, and his inability to glide through l… Nov 13, 2006 22m
9. 9 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Jake is left home alone for the first time. Nov 20, 2006 21m
10. 10 Kissing Abe Lincoln Worrying Charlie may get rid of one of them, Berta and Lydia fight over him. Meanwhile, Kandi does everything she can to stop Alan from selling their condo. Nov 27, 2006 21m
11. 11 Walnuts and Demerol Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them. Dec 11, 2006 21m
12. 12 Castrating Sheep in Montana Berta discovers that Alan has been dating her daughter Naomi. Jan 8, 2007 21m
13. 13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer Jake shares that he has heard his mother having sex with her fiancée, Herb; this revelation brings up a repressed memory for Charlie. This leads Charlie to seek help from Rose. Jan 22, 2007 21m
14. 14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami Charlie sets Alan up with their new neighbour. But he gets jealous when the two form a bond. Feb 5, 2007 22m
15. 15 My Damn Stalker Rose is moving to London, and Charlie is surprised by his reaction to the news. Alan lies to a woman he met online. Feb 12, 2007 22m
16. 16 Young People Have Phlegm Too Charlie's young, hot girlfriend takes him to a new club. She invites Alan to meet one of her friends but the men are shocked to learn that they are considered as being "old". Feb 19, 2007 21m
17. 17 I Merely Slept with a Commie After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend's funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her fune… Feb 26, 2007 22m
18. 18 It Never Rains in Hooterville Alan tries to bond with Jake when he realizes that his childhood is almost over. Kandi pursues a career in acting. Mar 19, 2007 21m
19. 19 Smooth as a Ken Doll Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb. Apr 9, 2007 21m
20. 20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance. Apr 16, 2007 21m
21. 21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous Alan and Charlie re-examine their sexual identities after Alan befriends Greg, a gay man. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter. Apr 23, 2007 22m
22. 22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV. Apr 30, 2007 22m
23. 23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' Charlie is shocked when the handyman working on his house beats him out for Chloe's affections. Alan has no sympathy for Charlie's distress. May 7, 2007 21m
24. 24 Prostitutes and Gelato Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues' May 14, 2007 20m

1. 1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble. Sep 24, 2007 20m
2. 2 Media Room Slash Dungeon Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning. Oct 1, 2007 22m
3. 3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie's ex-girlfrie… Oct 8, 2007 21m
4. 4 City of Great Racks Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns. Oct 15, 2007 22m
5. 5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject. Oct 22, 2007 22m
6. 6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert. Oct 29, 2007 21m
7. 7 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother. Nov 5, 2007 20m
8. 8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? Charlie writes a children's song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan. Nov 12, 2007 20m
9. 9 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter. Nov 19, 2007 20m
10. 10 Kinda Like Necrophilia Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school. Nov 26, 2007 22m
11. 11 Meander to Your Dander When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise. Mar 17, 2008 22m
12. 12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie. Mar 24, 2008 22m
13. 13 The Soil Is Moist Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends. Mar 31, 2008 20m
14. 14 Winky-Dink Time Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker. Apr 14, 2008 22m
15. 15 Rough Night in Hump Junction Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways. Apr 21, 2008 21m
16. 16 Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister. Apr 28, 2008 22m
17. 17 Fish in a Drawer CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house. May 5, 2008 21m
18. 18 If My Hole Could Talk Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school. May 12, 2008 21m
19. 19 Waiting for the Right Snapper When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time. May 19, 2008 22m

1. 1 Taterhead Is Our Love Child In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie. Sep 22, 2008 22m
2. 2 Pie Hole, Herb Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed with a beautiful woman. After… Sep 29, 2008 22m
3. 3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer. Oct 6, 2008 22m
4. 4 The Flavin' and the Mavin' Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist. Oct 13, 2008 21m
5. 5 A Jock Strap in Hell Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversion. Oct 20, 2008 22m
6. 6 It's Always Nazi Week When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown. Nov 3, 2008 22m
7. 7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declar… Nov 10, 2008 22m
8. 8 Pinocchio's Mouth Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake in… Nov 17, 2008 22m
9. 9 The Mooch at the Boo Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life. Nov 24, 2008 22m
10. 10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culin… Dec 8, 2008 21m
11. 11 The Devil's Lube Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close. Dec 15, 2008 22m
12. 12 Thank God for Scoliosis Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist. Jan 12, 2009 20m
13. 13 I Think You Offended Don Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father. Jan 19, 2009 22m
14. 14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie Melissa doesn't think Alan's family appreciates him, so she asks him to move in with her and her mom. Feb 2, 2009 21m
15. 15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat Charlie ends up in couples counseling. Feb 9, 2009 21m
16. 16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives. Mar 2, 2009 20m
17. 17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her Mar 9, 2009 20m
18. 18 My Son's Enormous Head Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation. Mar 16, 2009 21m
19. 19 The Two Finger Rule After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor. Mar 30, 2009 20m
20. 20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting. Apr 13, 2009 22m
21. 21 Above Exalted Cyclops Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose. Apr 27, 2009 21m
22. 22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left in the house for him. May 4, 2009 20m
23. 23 Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation. May 11, 2009 20m
24. 24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospi… May 18, 2009 21m

1. 1 818-JKLPUZO Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia. Sep 21, 2009 21m
2. 2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house. Sep 28, 2009 20m
3. 3 Mmm, Fish. Yum. Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie. Oct 5, 2009 19m
4. 4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake. Oct 12, 2009 20m
5. 5 For the Sake of the Child Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public. Oct 19, 2009 21m
6. 6 Give Me Your Thumb Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges. Nov 2, 2009 20m
7. 7 Untainted by Filth Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened. Nov 9, 2009 22m
8. 8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house. Nov 16, 2009 20m
9. 9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea. Nov 23, 2009 21m
10. 10 That's Why They Call It "Ball Room" Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances. Dec 7, 2009 20m
11. 11 Warning, It's Dirty Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas. Dec 14, 2009 19m
12. 12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends. Jan 11, 2010 22m
13. 13 Yay, No Polyps! Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house. Jan 18, 2010 20m
14. 14 Crude and Uncalled For Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight. Feb 1, 2010 21m
15. 15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them. Feb 8, 2010 22m
16. 16 Tinkle Like a Princess Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea. Mar 1, 2010 21m
17. 17 I Found Your Moustache Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. Mar 8, 2010 21m
18. 18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient. Mar 22, 2010 21m
19. 19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother. Apr 12, 2010 18m
20. 20 I Called Him Magoo Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience" May 10, 2010 21m
21. 21 Gumby with a Pokey Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip. May 17, 2010 21m
22. 22 This Is Not Gonna End Well Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension. May 24, 2010 21m

1. 1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing. Sep 20, 2010 21m
2. 2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her. Sep 27, 2010 21m
3. 3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house. Oct 4, 2010 21m
4. 4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down. Oct 11, 2010 21m
5. 5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery. Oct 18, 2010 21m
6. 6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman. Oct 25, 2010 21m
7. 7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose. Nov 1, 2010 19m
8. 8 Springtime on a Stick Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist. Nov 8, 2010 21m
9. 9 A Good Time in Central Africa When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband. Nov 15, 2010 21m
10. 10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop When Charlie's ex-girlfriend Courtney is released from prison, he treats her to the good life despite her having been in prison for conning him. Nov 22, 2010 19m
11. 11 Dead from the Waist Down Alan goes to great lengths to be able to get Lyndsey a nice birthday present. Dec 6, 2010 21m
12. 12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch). Dec 13, 2010 21m
13. 13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie. Jan 3, 2011 21m
14. 14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts. Jan 17, 2011 21m
15. 15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme. Feb 7, 2011 21m
16. 16 That Darn Priest Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose. Feb 14, 2011 19m

1. 1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire. Sep 19, 2011 21m
2. 2 People Who Love Peepholes Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget. Sep 26, 2011 21m
3. 3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school. Oct 3, 2011 20m
4. 4 Nine Magic Fingers Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey. Oct 10, 2011 21m
5. 5 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party. Oct 17, 2011 20m
6. 6 The Squat and Hover Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. Oct 24, 2011 21m
7. 7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will. Oct 31, 2011 19m
8. 8 Thank You for the Intercourse When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional. Nov 7, 2011 21m
9. 9 Frodo's Headshots Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope. Nov 14, 2011 21m
10. 10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world. Nov 21, 2011 21m
11. 11 What a Lovely Landing Strip Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life. Dec 5, 2011 20m
12. 12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral. Dec 12, 2011 21m
13. 13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion Walden's ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help. Jan 2, 2012 20m
14. 14 A Possum on Chemo Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship. Jan 16, 2012 20m
15. 15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies. Feb 6, 2012 21m
16. 16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day. Feb 13, 2012 20m
17. 17 Not in My Mouth! Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem. Feb 20, 2012 19m
18. 18 The War Against Gingivitis Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace. Feb 27, 2012 21m
19. 19 Palmdale, Ech Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party. Mar 19, 2012 21m
20. 20 Grandma's Pie Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship. Apr 9, 2012 21m
21. 21 Mr. Hose Says "Yes" Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey Apr 16, 2012 21m
22. 22 Why We Gave Up Women Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack. Apr 30, 2012 21m
23. 23 The Straw in My Donut Hole Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. May 7, 2012 21m
24. 24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future. May 14, 2012 21m

1. 1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday. Sep 27, 2012 21m
2. 2 A Big Bag of Dog Zoey and Walden break up, causing Walden to experience a breakdown. Oct 4, 2012 20m
3. 3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt Alan and Lyndsey decide to spice things up in the bedroom. Oct 11, 2012 21m
4. 4 You Do Know What the Lollipop's For Walden starts to feel his age when a friend's daughter comes to town. Oct 18, 2012 21m
5. 5 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam Despite Alan's warnings, Walden starts dating Rose. Oct 25, 2012 20m
6. 6 Ferrets, Attack! Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose. Nov 1, 2012 20m
7. 7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) a… Nov 8, 2012 21m
8. 8 Something My Gynecologist Said Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman. Nov 15, 2012 21m
9. 9 I Scream When I Pee Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special. Nov 29, 2012 20m
10. 10 One Nut Johnson Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money. Dec 6, 2012 21m
11. 11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas. Dec 13, 2012 22m
12. 12 Welcome to Alancrest Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden. Jan 3, 2013 22m
13. 13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity. Jan 10, 2013 21m
14. 14 Run, Steven Staven! Run! Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships. Jan 31, 2013 21m
15. 15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan. Feb 7, 2013 21m
16. 16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south. Feb 14, 2013 21m
17. 17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough. Feb 21, 2013 21m
18. 18 The 9:04 from Pemberton After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb. Mar 7, 2013 21m
19. 19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb. Mar 14, 2013 21m
20. 20 Bazinga! That's from a TV Show Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter. Apr 4, 2013 21m
21. 21 Another Night with Neil Diamond Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him. Apr 25, 2013 21m
22. 22 My Bodacious Vidalia With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman. May 2, 2013 21m
23. 23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip. May 9, 2013 22m

1. 1 Nangnangnangnang Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family. Sep 26, 2013 21m
2. 2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty. Oct 3, 2013 21m
3. 3 This Unblessed Biscuit Walden and Alan think it may be time for Berta to retire when she injures her back at work. When they suggest her retiring, she grows offended, and as the conversation progresses … Oct 10, 2013 22m
4. 4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank Alan and Lyndsey's illicit relationship becomes jeopardized when one of Lyndsey's man-hunting friends, Stephanie (Jennifer Aspen), asks if they are back together. The two staunchl… Oct 17, 2013 21m
5. 5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career. Oct 24, 2013 21m
6. 6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants When Alan learns Walden knows Lynda Carter, he asks him to set him up on a date with her. Against his better judgment, Walden agrees to invite her to the house for dinner. Nov 7, 2013 21m
7. 7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey's jealousy throws a wrench in their evening. Nov 14, 2013 21m
8. 8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. Alan and Lyndsey's illicit affair puts Walden in danger, forcing him to accept Rose's help. Nov 21, 2013 21m
9. 9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information about herself to him. Dec 5, 2013 21m
10. 10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics. Dec 12, 2013 21m
11. 11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts Walden joins his beautiful former employee on a brilliant new project. Meanwhile, Alan advises Jenny to open up to her girlfriend or risk losing her. Jan 2, 2014 21m
12. 12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him. Jan 9, 2014 21m
13. 13 Bite Me, Supreme Court Marty Pepper proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty. Jan 30, 2014 21m
14. 14 Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man. Feb 6, 2014 21m
15. 15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart. Feb 27, 2014 21m
16. 16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen. Mar 6, 2014 21m
17. 17 Welcome Home, Jake Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place. Mar 13, 2014 21m
18. 18 West Side Story Walden gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend's boutique opening. Meanwhile, Gretchen wants to spend more time at Alan's house. Apr 3, 2014 21m
19. 19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian. Apr 10, 2014 22m
20. 20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues. Apr 24, 2014 21m
21. 21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot Alan's girlfriend, Gretchen, insists he confess his true identity to Larry. Meanwhile, Walden goes on a road trip with Jenny and Barry to see his first car. May 1, 2014 21m
22. 22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry. May 8, 2014 21m

1. 1 The Ol' Mexican Spinach After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life. Oct 30, 2014 21m
2. 2 A Chic Bar in Ibiza Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup. Nov 6, 2014 21m
3. 3 Glamping in a Yurt Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab. Nov 13, 2014 21m
4. 4 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby. Nov 20, 2014 21m
5. 5 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Walden becomes a foster parent to a 6-year-old boy, but worries about himself when they don't hit it off like he hoped. Nov 27, 2014 21m
6. 6 Alan Shot a Little Girl Alan breaks Walden's rules when he realizes that Louis thinks he's cool, and he wants it to stay that way. Dec 4, 2014 21m
7. 7 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Alan goes out for a girls’ night with a group of moms. Dec 11, 2014 21m
8. 8 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey Alan and Walden attempt to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real. Dec 18, 2014 21m
9. 9 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey. Jan 8, 2015 21m
10. 10 Here I Come, Pants! Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple. Jan 15, 2015 21m
11. 11 For Whom the Booty Calls Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan. Jan 22, 2015 21m
12. 12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis’ adoption. Jan 29, 2015 21m
13. 13 Boompa Loved His Hookers Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her. Feb 5, 2015 21m
14. 14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on … Feb 12, 2015 21m
15. 15 Of Course He's Dead (1) Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he? Feb 19, 2015 18m
16. 16 Of Course He's Dead (2) Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he? Feb 19, 2015 21m

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